I immediately asked for forgiveness for my lack of faith and for allowing myself to take my focus off of God and placing it on all the negative. That moment in the drive thru is one of many times that God has spoken to me throughout this journey and reminding me to keep my eyes on Him and trust in His plan. I snapped back to reality and took the kids to a local residence that has all kinds of animals for the community to visit. We parked and had a nice lunch. We fed the donkeys and I just made up in my mind that I was going to enjoy my children and the time that I was given right then.
I ran/walked my first 5K this past weekend. It was the color vibe run and a group of us ran in honor of Jax. All the proceeds were going to the Ronald McDonald house. Later that day I was playing with Jax and doing some PT with him. And once again it was these moments that remind me that God is in control and that every milestone with Jax is a celebration and victory for him. He has a determined spirit about him that I can't explain. I know that there is a strength inside of him and a joy that is expressed on a daily basis. A sweet friend was visiting with us and was there when Jax pushed himself all the way to this position. I can't tell you the amount of joy and excitement that was felt in this moment in time but it was an amazing end to a not so amazing week. Hopefully the expressions on our faces will convey some of that joy with you.
Church was so good today and Pastor Stan had a great message about Spirit Empowered Living. If I allow myself I get extremely overwhelmed at the task before me when it comes to Jax's caregiving, because if I had to do it on my own I would fail miserably. I am inadequate on my own to care for him the way he needs but with God working in me I am more than adequate. I am trusting in God's grace, mercy, love, guidance and wisdom when it comes to raising all my children but especially with Jax. He is not a typical child and without God I would collapse under the enormous weight and burden of this responsibility that has been given to us.
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