Breaking the Silence II

I've stood by a long time and wanted to write something. I just didn't know what. I think i know now. This is a conversation between me and God. It's the only way i know how to get what i want to say out of my complex thoughts. For me i know can be completely myself with Him. So it begins...

I am not alone...
It's a thought that is hard to swallow considering the road I'm on.
I believe you hold the Sun, Earth, and the very Universe in Your palm,
but in the deepest part of my mind I question the end result of Your actions.
Give me rest...
Are we destined to be in darkness for the rest of our lives?
We walk like the blind, feeling our way through this like people without eyes.
You are my God, my Creator, my King. You know me to the very core of who I am.
Give me rest...
The fires of the forge burn. The hammer striking is now a dull pain, no longer a sharp sting.
The smell of the smoke is now familiar, comfortable even. What am I, nay, What are we becoming?
A Sword to pierce the very heart of Darkness? A tool for binding wounds? Something unknown?
Give me rest...
You know me. You know above all things, i will take your hand as you lead, even to the very fires of hell.
We are tired and numb, broken and worn, yet we still move. I know You are the unseen strength.
What then can i say Oh Lord? Do i question your motives? actions? No, I trust You.
Give me rest...
We are weary, beaten, bruised, and tired. There is beauty in suffering. You know this more than anyone. It must be painful that so many give up, so soon. You know I believe You have a purpose in all things. I feel ashamed when I can't hold on, yet I believe that is when you are holding me. Help me, Heal me, Reform Me.
Give me rest...
Should my flame be snuffed out before my time, Send a smile to my daughters, tell them to never lose the joy of being a kid at heart. Tell my son I'm so very proud of him, he will always be an inspiration to his father. Tell my wife I adore her. She is beautiful and kind, and is the strongest person I've met on this earth.

I trust You.
I don't understand why we walk in this darkness, but
I trust Your decisions.
I'm scared this darkness will snuff out the light of the ones I love the most, however
I trust Your involvement.
I humbly ask of you one thing.
One thing that I believe could alleviate some of the pain and darkness we are so familiar with.
One thing that I believe you could grant if you saw fit, however not my will, but Yours be done- Forever and Ever.

Give me rest...

Jeremy